Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
