Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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