i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
