i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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