life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
