it's like iHOP with fire
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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