i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
