His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
