She's JV to your varsity
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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