I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
