so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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