I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
