I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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