Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
