Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
