Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
