at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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