Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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