I faked an abortion last night.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
