Your dad touched me again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
