Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
