my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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