her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My life is pants optional.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
