It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
