i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
