i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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