She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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