It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jerry, you need to find god
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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