I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
