remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
