do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
