So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
