I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
