I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
