Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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