just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
