so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
