I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
