i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
