Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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