I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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