I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
