If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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