I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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