don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
