i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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