so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
