I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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