Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
