How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize