That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Where is the hickey?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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