Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
