what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize