We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
