tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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