4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
