I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
