i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize